How to leave the house when you have a baby or toddler

You know how when you take a Peloton class, they always congratulate you for showing up? I want that in my everyday life. I want the gate attendant to clap when we get to the gate. I wanted the waiter to bring a piece of cake because we got to the restaurant five minutes before our reservation. I want the museum staff to put up a banner celebrating our arrival.

I wanted a medal after doing this very short hike because of the amount of effort it took to get out of the house.

What I learned early on as a mom was that it was much easier for me to be outside than to be stuck in the play area. If it rains heavily, I’m still at the playground. Or prepare a picnic to spend as much time telling stories in the library as possible. Or keeping a spreadsheet of local and recurring events so I always have an idea of ​​where to go on any given day. On days when we don’t leave the house, I collapse under the weight of balancing household responsibilities, the siren call of work email, and a toddler tugging at my sleeve. That’s when I felt the failure of the “You can have it all!” dreaming the most, and being torn in different directions, I ended up going in circles.

But the hardest part of traveling, and of any bigger trip, is simply GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE. You would think as someone who does this every day, whether for school or for fun, it would be easier. Ha, ha, ha, not that.

Preparations start several days in advance.

I’m not talking about packing—although I often pack a bag well in advance if I can get away with a laundry situation—but about preparing the kids.

Toddlers thrive on consistency and routine. Travel naturally interferes with that.

For big trips, we start talking about them weeks in advance, often reading books about flying or beaches or whatever we see to keep preparing (for them) subconsciously. Over dinner, we’ll talk logistics for the days ahead: “We’re going to the city on Friday! I’ll pick you up from school and we’ll take a long drive on the highway, through the tunnels, and into the city. We’ll see so many skyscrapers!”

I’m sure you remember the 5 Ws of elementary school English: Who, what, where, when, and why. We don’t always make it through more than one “W,” but I find the more I explain beforehand, the less broken we experience when we get there.

It takes half an hour or more to get into the car.

Some days, we’re at the door for so long before we have to leave, it’s ridiculous. But we always managed to get home five minutes late. Our routine before leaving is:

Out time: I’m sure we’ll be leaving “soon.” I pack lunch/gather my things and pack the car/make sure I’m done eating and getting ready. Sometimes this is easy to do, like in the morning while they are still having breakfast. Other times I interrupt games that aren’t going well.

Half an hour out: I’d say we’ll leave in “ten minutes.” We finish whatever game is going on and then I do my best to convince my son that in fact, we need to go potty. I don’t always win.

Fifteen minutes out: We were downstairs by the door, putting on shoes and coats very slowly. I always let them press the garage door opener as a reward.

Five minutes out: Tied up endlessly in car seat shenanigans, running back home to grab my phone/wallet/whatever I forgot on the counter.

1 minute out: Think about why we even bother leaving the house even though we are already sweating and out of breath even though we haven’t left yet.

Wheel ride: “Hopefully I haven’t forgotten anything…”

And we’re out. *Cue How Far I’ll Go by Moana, our current musical obsession*

Remember your rhythm.

Every child is different, and only you know the right time to leave the house in one piece. I know if I linger past 10am to leave, we’ll never leave, because by then my toddler is getting active and/or I’ve already prepared activities and/or I realize I have household chores that need to be done and suddenly it’s lunch time, so we might as well stay. We get up and OUT no later than 9:30 every morning—often earlier if I can—so we can go for a walk, eat lunch, and go home before napping (or sleeping in the car.) I have a kid who wakes up at 6 a.m. every morning, so that’s our rhythm. If I try to force anything else, it won’t work.

And it gets easier. One of the reasons this is our rhythm is because it’s *my* preferred schedule. (Well, maybe not waking up at 6am.) I’m a morning person and an early lunch, so that’s what we did.

What I pack in my car so I can always get out quickly.

My only real secret for leaving the house is that I always pack to leave (my version of the Hulk is always angry), so that when I forget something, I still have it. Lately, somewhere between the basement and climbing into the car seat we seem to have lost a shoe?? Only one. Toddler mystery.

I’ve always been the type of person to carry a bag in the trunk—my senior year of high school, I always kept a sleeping bag, a swimsuit, a lifeguard uniform, and a big stack of CDs. just in case-and that hasn’t changed since becoming a mother. Here is an example of my luggage contents for the summer:

Yes, I have an SUV. I keep all of this stuff in a large plastic container in the trunk.

Thank you for being here.

Observed penguins for a very long time.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately with the idea of ​​booking another big trip, but that hasn’t stopped us from having fun in our backyard. My husband had a work conference in town and some things to do, so we booked a little staycation in Boston and did all our favorite things—screaming penguins at the Aquarium, a ride on the Greenway Carousel, an unreal sando at the new-to-me Sunny Girl in the North End, and a stroll through Martin’s Playground. Although my toddler will tell you the best part was eating snacks while watching some of the high-rise condo developments in the Harbor…nothing like a great construction site for my little one.

I often overthink travel, as if it should always be new and exciting, but this was our third time doing the same Seaport/North End itinerary and it was always easy and fun. But I almost didn’t go—we still have a lot of little trips coming up and I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed with it all lately—but I’m so happy to be out of the house.

Just do it,

Kayla

If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the toddler years trying to create core memories for our entire family while minimizing the meltdowns—I really hope this helps you do the same.

This post was originally published on Traveling with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-life travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.

More from FamilyVacationist: